I’ve had two weeks of being single.
Rightly, I’ve only disclosed this to people close to me who I know will support me when I needed it.
Maybe, you’re thinking it’s too soon for me to post it on here, but I have no qualms with how it ended or with him.
And, we tended to not blare out relationship on social media, so it is doubtful you will even know who he was.
So, this is the first time in my life I’ve really been single, and I’m finding the whole thing fairly scary. I have no idea what to do, what to say…
In the back of my mind there is this constant niggle that I can’t be alone, that I need to have that comfort 24/7. That reassurance.I’ve spoken about this a lot recently and I’m trying to work this one out, but it seems these recent events have thrown me back into this pit of needed reassurance. I need someone to tell me that I’m doing a good job, and I find myself constantly looking for that.
The concept of a rebound is that want, that need to feel something. To forget that you’ve lost a crucial part of your life, that everything has changed (starts singing a bit of Ed and T-Swizzle). It’s a distraction from the pain of being alone, of losing something so familiar.
Now, after hearing about this concept for a number of years, I’ve realised what rebound really is and why it happens.
After some consultation with urban dictionary, because I’m really no relationship guru, I found myself wondering about this blog post. It was time for me to accept that I have to learn to be by myself.
I have to be comfortable with my own silence, I have to feel fine with only my thoughts at night.
I have to be okay with days of silence after 4 years of having someone who would text me every day. There will no longer be that comfort that there is someone who wonders what I’m doing, who thinks of me when they’re alone, who knows when I’m not myself.
And, that’s the most painful part for me, and I believe that’s why so many rebounds happen. We just don’t want to face the looming fact that it is over, that this is really happening.
Evidently, you need time to adjust to the newly single life. I’m trying this whole thing for the first time, and I’m nowhere near anything else. Many people will say that you need a certain amount of time to get over a break up. They’ll try to put you in a box; give you a role that you must play.
I keep on waiting for someone to text me to ask how I am, to ask what I’m doing just because they were thinking about me. However, that text is never coming.
Rebounds will always be the way of trying to avoid the inevitable that comes after a break up. We all have to face it at one point. Facing it sooner,rather than later, will make the future just a little easier. It will make future relationships far more healthier; the moving on will be far better for you.
There is nothing wrong with a rebound, but consider why you’re doing it, and what you’re going to gain in the end.
xx
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LegallyFierceFeminist 