To my ex,
you were only a boy when
we met,
not yet a man,
a relationship that
saw us grow.
We were only kids when
you fell for me,
and I couldn’t bring
myself to say no, because
breaking hearts had never
been my hobby.
I had no idea how to
fix something that should
never be broken anyway.
I think about that every day,
your heart,
where do I even start?
How do I put years into
words?
I was so f*cking naive,
swept away by the first sign
of attention,
I can’t even attempt to
mention the last months of what
we had.
I felt dead.
Raw.
The wounds on my thighs felt
too sore, ready to be bled
open again.
You told me I was painful,
a bitch,
an itch you can never f*cking
scratch.
I can only imagine what you
must say about me now.
Do you call your new girlfriend
names?
I have nothing to gain from
this poem, just a sense of relief.
Is your next girlfriend
prettier than me?
Because I never felt good enough.
And I know I was always going through a
rough time,
but maybe we were the wrong
people all along.
Maybe we were the weight on
our shoulders,
the reason my heart felt colder
every bloody day.
I couldn’t even fathom who
I was anymore,
and I don’t want to bore you
with emotions,
you never asked how mine were.
You were just a boy,
and I was a girl,
but we couldn’t face the world
together.
We were meant to exist,
alone.
Does your new girlfriend
blow up your phone?
with sweet nothings that
I could never believe
in the first place,
because we were constantly
saving face.
Even when I achieved,
when I soared,
when I believed that I
was worth something,
you brought me back down
to earth.
Because,
why could I celebrate,
when you felt the weight of
life crushing down on you?
I would have gone to war for you.
I would have taken a bullet for you.
I would have died for you.
You just couldn’t see what I was holding,
collecting,
praising all the time,
was you.
The number 1 in my dreams,
the boy who helped me believe,
but then took it away from me.
You said you would die without me,
so why are still breathing?
You said I was your world,
then why did you destroy me?
I’m sorry,
I’m so so sorry that you couldn’t
just see what I knew all along.
Because something had always been wrong.
And I can’t use my words to describe this,
because I can feel my heart breaking again.
I have nothing bitter to feel,
I have no hate towards you,
I just wish my head had listened
to my feelings.
Thank you for setting me up for this
life,
4 long years of memories,
4 long years of life,
4 long years of growth.
I don’t want to loathe you.
You were my world,
you were everything to me,
and I hope your next girlfriend is
everything you want her to be.
We were too young,
dumb,
out of control.
I find myself wondering was it
love or lust?
Needs must?
Did we just want someone to love?
I hope life is good,
I hope you are brave,
because the boy who I knew,
will be an amazing man one day.
I have loved, I have lost,
I have learned,
and I will always hold you in
every praise.
To your new girlfriend,
I have watched this boy grow,
and I hope you show him respect he
deserves,
because he will always mean something to me.
LegallyFierceFeminist 