As we move fully into 2021, I find myself back in the changing rooms, waiting around for my moment.
Yes, dear readers, I have found myself fully single again.
I’ll be honest, it was not how I saw my 2021 going, but here we are.
So, I thought now would be a time to spread my wisdom for those of us who are single – whether freshly, about to be or you’ve been single for a while. And, let me tell you, you must take my advice with caution because my dating life is less than perfect.
Break ups suck, they really do. However, once you’re past that phase of thinking of what could be, or wondering if you’ll be with them again, or wondering what you did wrong – you are in the glorious world of being single.
And, it can be a charm if done right.
If you grab singledom by the horns, you can love it so much that you never want to leave it.
So, here I am to tell you how to really be single.
None of that half single rubbish, let’s take this single journey together.
- Embrace it.
You heard me. Embrace being single.
Sometimes, it’s easy to moan and become upset that you’re single. However, I choose to take the path of knowing there is someone out there for me. They will see me, they will hear me, they will be my person.
Until that day, I enjoy the freedom of being single. If I want to eat 2 bars of Galaxy (yes, I have done that) then I will, and I won’t worry whether I break out, or whether I bloat, because who am I trying to impress? I’m just loving myself.
Stop moping about being single. If you want to mope about it, don’t bring down the other singletons who actually very much enjoy it. If you let it, being single can be an extremely empowering time in your life.
You can do whatever, eat whatever and be whoever.
No commitment, no arguments between the person you’re dating, no pressure.
2. Take dating apps with a pinch of salt.
Or just delete them.
If you want to stay on dating apps, take them with a pinch of salt.
95% of the time you are not going to find your soulmate on Tinder. It’s full of people in the same boat as you.
Be sure to understand that if you are on there to fill a void rather than start a relationship then it’s likely the person you’re talking to is on there for the same reason.
Dating apps are like buses. Every now and then one that’s slightly less full and able to let you on will come along. Most of the time, they are packed and if you do get on you’re normally squished with lots of other people and fighting for space. You feel my drift here?
I think dating apps can be summed up in the sense that I’ve seen quite a few men change their height option to below less than 3 inches on Bumble. Really quite amusing (virtual eye roll).
3. Start something new.
NOW is the time to take up something you have been avoiding.
You want to learn how to tap dance? Do it. You want to start that club you thought about? Start it.
This is the time when all you have is yourself and you have all this time to do things for yourself. Make those dreams a reality, stop putting them off until tomorrow.
4. Work on yourself.
This is something I’m extremely passionate about.
People sometimes drift from relationship to relationship because they are scared of being by themselves. When you do that, you take all your pain and your hurt to someone else. That person then is hurt because you don’t even know yourself anymore.
You carry all the shit from your past relationship into the next one because you aren’t healed.
I have been on the receiving end of this a few times, and if you are one of those people, please read this as your sign to stop.
We are not here to take all your crap from your past relationship and be okay with it. We are not here to fix you. We are not here to take all the pain.
What happens when these people leave is someone else who is now hurt, and these people go to the next person and then the next person and all they do is leave a trail of hurt.
When you break up with someone, there is a lot to take in and a lot to deal with. You have to let yourself breathe and understand who you are.
Until that point, until you are happy as yourself, then stop getting into relationships.
I can guarantee you can date this time next year, so take time and let yourself heal.
Do not hurt people.
5. Enjoy being single.
Not enough people enjoy being single.
I don’t have this fear of being single.
Yes, I won’t get cuddles on tap and I no longer get a good morning text, so what?
I have a dog who lets me cuddle her (debatable if she enjoys it because she’s sassier than me) and I can say good morning to myself.
I no longer have to worry if he likes me, if he will text me, if he wants to be my boyfriend.
Yes, I’d love to be in a relationship but I’m also not yearning for one.
Being single is thrilling, exciting and fun.
Enjoy it while it lasts.